Let me begin my story about 6 months ago. It is summer and all I am doing is my daily chores and watching TV, at this particular time: Alias. This is where my chess addiction spawned from. Sydney's father challenges a random man that he can checkmate in 9 moves. I just had to wonder how anyone could do that? It just so happens that he is the CIA's foremost Game Theorist. The applications of game theory to both chess and reality were intriguing to me, so accidentally downloaded a bundle of books on the subject. It was not quite as exciting and blatantly applicable as I had probably anticipated, but I guess that is somewhat irrelevant for the moment. The prisoner's dilemma and the Nash Equilibrium (developed by the guy from A Beautiful Mind) were interesting, at least from what I actually understood. It was also just a lot of jargon on economic theories.
Anyhow, getting to the point...On Monday my political science professor took a vote from the class to change our first midterm's weight grade from 30% to 25%. I scored 95/100, so it is obvious that 30% would be better. Usually I am pretty passive and tolerant of people, but when you start messing with my grade things quickly change. I basically vowed never to let GPA get in my way and made it a goal to always and forever get a 4.0 because I had gotten screwed over so many times in highschool (not that my 3.89 HS GPA was bad, just not good enough to compete, apparently). So I raised my hand symbolizing my opposition in this. However, disconcertment quickly descended upon me as soon as I realized I was the only one raising my hand and everyone was staring at me.
Things became worse today after my professor asked me to stay and talk with him after class. Just for the record, the only people he has said this to is if he sees them texting and playing their computer all through class or because they failed their midterm. I was totally befuddled at his request, but did as he asked.
As I naively waited for him I peered aimlessly around the classroom. I was totally took by surprise when he began speaking. My voice instantly became frail, face red and eyes watery. (Please note that I have an irrational fear of authority figures and when they seem mad at me, then I can't help but freaking out. I am pretty stoic or mask feelings with sublimity.) Basically, he thought that I hated him or something. That I didn't agree with anything he said and totally resented his teaching methods. he even went to ask me if I was a "loner." Not sure where he got the idea and nerve to ask that, but ok. I have to wonder if this was all triggered somehow by me raising my hand about a stupid 5% grade weight change? I was not consciously acting any different than I had been previously. I admit I had found some of his teaching methods stupid, but I still went to class, the early morning reviews and did well on the midterm. I don't even care if the teacher is a total bitch, so long as I learn the material and I am given a fair chance to earn the grade I deserve.
I am honestly still a bit confused about the whole thing, it was all sort of overemotional and surreal. I don't know where this is going or where it might end, I guess only time will tell. Let's just hope more random semi-intimidating conversations are not on the agenda again because they are annoying and I have to write a 50,000 word rant about them! It also has left an uneasy feeling whenever I think about the class, which I don't like. It was a lot better before the midterm. He said he would give a book to the highest scorer in the class. I am highly motivated when it comes to academic competition enhanced by positive reinforcement. Now that feeling seems to have washed away. Anyhow, I need to get back to my homework before I go to work. Oh, I also have to pay tribute to Madonna for making the Power of Madonna Glee episode a reality because it was epic!
Words of the Month:
Disconcertment: anxious embarrassment.
Dearth: an acute insufficiency
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